The thing with being my many different me’s is that I feel that I’m always under a lot of pressure (read more here). Today, for some reason, it really got to me and it was the most vulnerable I’ve felt in a long time. Consequently, I cried. Profusely. Unshamedly.
Halfway into the year already and I am nowhere close to the goals I’ve set at the beginning of it. Things are moving, but not fast enough. At least not in the pace that I want. I work so hard. So, so, hard. I do. But somehow these days I just can’t get a damn break and I guess that’s where my frustration is coming from. I do have small victories every now and then, but I could really use one, solid, life-changing win. Is that too much to ask?
Most of the time I can manage to keep my head above water. Some days such as today, however, I’m reminded that I can’t be 100% all the time and it hit me hard. My constant need for perfection and achievements is a double-edged sword. It drives me to work hard as hell, but when things don’t go as planned it makes me feel so worthless.